Cried Until We Laughed
by H. Black
Summary: BLACKWATER! Don't like don't read. First attempt at this so be gentle!
1. Guitar Hero

**Authors Note: This is my first fanfic that's really written in story form so polite constructive criticism is welcome. No rudeness please. Thanks if you take the time to read this and please REVIEW if you do so! **

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. Obviously her and I had different dreams for the way this story ended. **

**~Hannah**

Their house smelled bad. Their food burned my throat. Their voices made my ears ache. But I had to give it to the Cullens for knowing how to make up for it all.

Guitar Hero.

Their house was forever full of gadget and cool stuff they never used. I'd never seen so many laptops or music recording equipment in my entire twenty years. But I never saw them using it. It was odd and like it was all part of a charade and probably it was. Incase they decided to massacre the town family by family they'd need something to draw them to the big, pretty, white house. Gadgets always did the trick.

So Guitar Hero: World Tour was bought for the three of us to play when we spent quality time with the darling leeches.

Jake, Seth, and I stood in front of the big screen television strumming the notes on the tiny little guitars. They were tiny guitars to normal people which meant they were even smaller to us. I wish just by chance someone decided to make 'werewolf' sized guitars, just for the heck of it. I might actually be able to win this game if that existed.

"Lee, you suck," Seth said simply.

"Thanks so much for the support, baby brother." I nearly growl at him while strumming the wrong note _again._

"Seth, be nice to your sister. Leah, don't suck at Guitar Hero."

I wonder if I ever mention how great of an Alpha Jacob Black actually was. He really knew how to stand up for his pack members when they were being put down.

"Seth, don't you have a leech to follow around? I mean its okay. Well sort of okay. We all already know about your man-leech crush on Edward. Don't be shy. We don't hate you because you're gay. It's just that fact that he's a bloodsucker..." I trailed off and waited to see what form of reprimand the O Mighty Alpha Jake would give me.

Nothing came. So I looked up at him. His face was really red. I wasn't sure whether he was really pissed or not. I mean I was talking about Seth, not him. So he couldn't be mad, really.

But then he burst out laughing. The sound was deep and booming. That's when I heard the bell like voice chime in. The blonde was thought it was extremely funny as well. I tilted my head at her. I hadn't paid her much attention before. Usually I was just trying to ignore her smell.

"I DO NOT HAVE A MAN CRUSH ON EDWARD!" Seth protested loudly.

I shushed him as Jakes face fell into a worried expression. Seth could be so stupid sometimes. I mean didn't he know leech lover numero uno (since he was leech lover numero dos) was in the other room pregnant and being eat by her own baby?

Kid had no brain.

"Leah, I can still hear you," A musical voice called from the other room.

I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out. I hated the stupid mind reading bloodsucker. He made it incredibly hard to think. You're suppose to be safe in your thoughts but when you're a wolf or around Edward Cullen that wasn't the case.

"Butt out, Eddie. I mean, I'm sorry my thoughts hurt you..really I am, but at least I don't say them out loud." I had a point. He couldn't argue it. I could be saying all that stuff out loud and making Bella cry.

He just sighed and I heard him start humming. In all the time I spent in the Cullen house they were either wandering around aimlessly, playing the piano, reading something, humming or popping up randomly. It was scary. They needed lives.

I threw my guitar down. My nose has had enough.

"Jake, am I needed here? Or can I go protect the outer perimeter?" I figured if I made it sound all official and like I was going to do something productive he'd agree.

"Sure, Leah. Whatever. Give me that guitar," Jacob said pointing like the Neanderthal he is.

I rolled my eyes for what was probably the millionth time that day. Seth and Jacob, well, they were hopeless without me. I mean I was doing them a favor when I joined the crappy renegade pack.

"Here, kid. Cya." I wanted to tell Seth to not get eaten but I didn't need to go all maternal on him. That would just cause constant nagging from Jacob and stabbing pain to my heart.

I started for the door, shagging my short hair and letting it fall randomly. I expected Mrs. America Blondie didn't have some snide remark about wet dogs shaking their fur or something. Amazingly she kept her trap shut. Pushing the door open I walked into the fresh air and inhaled deeply. Sadly the air around the Cullen's house still had the faint stench of leech. Grimacing I made my way across the yard and started to pull of my shirt.

"Leah, wait up," someone called from behind me.

There standing in the yard was Rosalie. She didn't look angry or have her nose pinched up in disgust. She seemed relatively happy to be in my presence. That scared me. I felt the need to run. Or the need to move like Speed Racer and hide like Bin Laddin.

Yet, I was stuck. I'd have to talk to her eventually. So I might as well get this over with now.

"Yes?" I asked eyeballing her.

"Well..see…" The blonde leech seemed nervous. I nodded for her to continue.

"I know, I know I'm a bitch and that you are too." She started off finally.

I don't know if that was suppose to make me want to stay and talk to her or not, but it worked.

"What a pair," I muttered and it made her smile.

"With that being said..Alice and I wanted to know if you would like to spend some 'girl time' with us?" She sounded hopeful.

From what I understood girl time with Alice probably involved shopping and sexy French lingerie. If that was the case I was in. Plus if Sam got word of my quality leech time he just might kill himself. It would be like a bonus to the 'fun' of hanging out with Blondie and Mental girl.

"Alright, when?" I asked trying to sound like it pained me.

"Tomorrow afternoon at one?"

"I'll be here."

"Thanks so much, Leah. I need to go tell Alice."

She flew into the house leaving me standing in the yard with a perplexed look on my face. Had I just agreed to be friends with the Lady Vamps?


	2. The Princess, The Pixie, and The Bitch

**Disclaimer: I am not SM.**

The Bitch, the Pixie, and the Princess

"LEAH! GET YOUR ASS UP NOW!"

I was in the middle of a great dream about Bella and Sam both being wiped from the face of the planet in some freak accident when someone was screeching at me and snatching away my blankets.

I didn't really need blankets these days since I was running a toasty one-oh-seven point eight so even with the covers gone I curled back into myself, trying to get to sleep again.

"C'mon Leah! You promised Rosalie and Alice! They're very happy about spending time with you!"

Seth was obnoxious. I hated him. I wondered if someone was paying him for all the PR he was giving about the sparkly people.

"Hey, Seth. Your sister up?" Came another stupidly deep voice.

Damn, Jacob Black.

"Obviously not. Apparently she could sleep through anything," Seth said sighing.

"That. Or she's just being a bitch and can hear everything we're saying."

Jacob was..Jacob was smarter than I gave him credit for.

"Leah, get up now. Don't make me force you." And with that Jacob and Seth left my room shutting the door behind them.

They knew me well enough to know I'd get up. I'd been forced to do a lot of things I didn't want to by a previous Alpha. Forced to cut my hair. Forced to stay in La Push. Forced to apologize to Quil and Paul. Or whoever else I decided to pick on that day.

Swinging my too long legs over the side of the bed I stretched my arms over my head before getting up and stumbling towards the dresser. I was exhausted from all the patrolling I was doing to protect the Bride of Chucky who was carrying the Seed of Chucky in her stomach at this very moment in time. Edward did resemble Chucky. The both looked like they were made out of plastic and his hair was red-ish. Plus, they were both made for a horror movie.

I pulled out a pair of shorts and everything else I would need for the day before heading to the bathroom. When I exited the room I slammed the door loudly to let Jake know just how pissed off I was.

"I don't see why you're so pissed, Leah. Alice is great and Rosalie reminds me of you," Seth said. He was so upbeat all the time that he didn't realize comparing me to a leech was rather offensive.

"Besides, _you_ agreed to this," Jake told me like a father scolding his daughter.

"I was tricked. That's my story and I'm going to stick to it, thanks," I told him whilst I crossed my arms over my chest. I stared out the window of the big jeep Jacob had decided to borrow from the big Cullen, Emmett. Why we needed a vehicle I wasn't sure since we had four legs.

Seth sighed and Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Really, this will be good for you." Jacob said as if he were Dr. Phil the expert on making people 'feel good'.

"Where do you get this from? Hanging out with leeches will solve my problems? As if, Black."

"Are we resulting to calling each other by last names, Clearwater?" He asked me, annoyed.

"Which one? There are two of us?"

It was Jacobs turn to sigh now.

"Besides this can't be good. 'Girl time'. Obviously with the little Pixie girl and the Princess it means shopping-"

Jacob cut me off before I could finish. "AWWW! The Pixie, the Princess, and the Bitch! How cute!"

"Jacob, you're a faggot. Anyway, shopping with those two! Do you know what that means?"

They both looked confused and like I was insane.

"That you'll get new clothes, finally?" Seth supplied.

"That you'll al three kill innocent people in the mall?" Jacob suggested.

"NO! They will buy me frilly, sexy, lingerie!" I was annoyed. Annoyed at the boys. Annoyed at the lingerie.

"Eww," Seth said.

"Exactly and who would I wear that for?"

"I would say Paul but even he has someone."

That was harsh. Even from Jacob.

"But never fear, there is ALWAYS Embry."

It was my turn to say ewww. "Eww, Jacob Black that is gross."

He just tilted his head back and laughed out loud as we pulled onto the Cullen's long drive way.

"I don't want Embry as a brother-in-law Jake. He'd eat all the food at my house. "

"That exactly how I feel, kid. I mean Paul's at my house eating all the Doritos and taking up all the room on the couch. And I can't even get mad at him about it without Rachel going all psycho."

They were so stupid. Wait, stupid didn't even begin to cover it. But I was so disgusted I pouted about the Embry thing all the way up the drive way and even after we got out of the jeep.

Luckily for us I didn't have to go inside. Rosalie and Alice were waiting on the porch for me with big smiles.

"Oh, dear god," I said looking up at the heavens.

Jacob nudged me, "Be nice!"

Groaning I walked forward and forced a smile.

"Hey, Lady Leeches," I greeted them waving one hand awkwardly.

"Bitch," Rosalie said smiling.

"Hello, Leah," Alice said in her perky little well.

We all stood their awkwardly for a moment while Seth and Jake stood watching us from the front door.

"You guys have fun!" Seth said.

"Yeah, buy Leah some nice clothes or something," Jake added while grinning at me like an idiot. I hated that boy.

"Go away, mutt. This is girl time. Not girls and their watchdogs," Rosalie told him and I stuck my tongue out.

Jake pretended to be hurt, rolled his eyes, and then walked into the house beckoning Seth to follow him. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe the man-crush Seth had was on Jacob.

"Have you ever been in a Porsche, Leah?" Alice asked, her creepy topaz eyes shimmering.

I looked back and forth between the two of them and noticed something was up. They never took the Porsche into town. Were we not shopping?

"Where are we going?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"You'll see," Rosalie said coming over to take me by the elbow and drag me to the garage. Her skin was so cold that it burned. Despite the week I'd spent hanging out with the Cullen's none of them ever touched me, and I hoped that today would be the last time one did.

Trouble. I was in big trouble and I don't think Jacob even cares if the Leech Sister kill me.

**A/N: This was supposed to have more of the Alice/Leah/Rosalie bonding time in it but it was getting too long. So I'm getting the next chapter up ASAP. Thanks for reading! Any suggestion or stuff you might want to see happen lemme know and I'll try and work it in.**


	3. Mini Golf, Oreo Cookies, and Last Names

**A/N: Blackwater, soon people, soon. I've just got to lay a sort of foundations things. Jacob and Leah are both to stubborn and dense to do this on their own. They need help! XD! And I know that in the book during the pregnancy Rose never left but this is my story and I'll tell it like I want. Besides this is the**_** one**_** time she leaves. **

The creeper sisters didn't take me to the mall and they didn't take me to Mini-Golf, which was my first choice. I let them know that several times on our journey but they didn't listen. So we ended up parked out in an empty field where they commenced to feeding me junk food and curbing my need for nicotine.

It was sort of like when Sam broke up with me and my old human friends fed me chocolate ice cream and watched chick flicks with me as I cried myself to sleep. I mean, they were all using feeble cliché things to get me back to my old happy nice self. But, I was too far gone for any of that to work.

"So, you brought me here to feed me and allow me to get lung cancer?" I spoke finally. With crude hand movements I gestured to the chips and oreo cookies, while waving the hand that held my cigarette around.

"Well, no," Alice said timidly. She was playing with her short hair and kept bouncing around. It bothered me. "Rose wants to tell you a story."

A story? I wasn't in elementary school anymore. I was twenty years old and menopausal. I'm like a grandma. I told them both exactly that.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hush it. This is a good story, Leah." Rose smiled brightly then put a finger to her lips signaling for me to shut up.

Oddly enough I listened to the Barbie look a like leech. Not waiting for anything else Rosalie started off into some story. She had a creepy far away look on her face. That freaked me out even more than Alice's attitude and utter happiness.

For a while I wasn't paying much attention to the story but then it got my attention. It was brutal and it was sad. And what was even sadder was that I understood this leech completely and I was certain she understood me.

Our stories weren't exactly alike but we'd both suffered at the hands of men. But, Rose was stronger than I was. She got her revenge. The people who hurt her didn't get to breathe air anymore, while Sam and Emily just got to parade their love around in front of me.

"You're kind of my hero," I said finally.

Both of them looked at each other and then looked at me. Rosalie had a funny grin on her face and Alice just looked lost.

"Well, I only wish I could do something like that to Sam," I explained.

"Why can't you?" Alice asked. "If you really wanted to hurt him why can't you? I mean it's not like you're not strong enough."

Coming from Alice that surprised me. I thought she was part of the Cullen Pro-Pacifist group with Carlisle, Esme, and Edward. They were happy go lucky vampires who didn't believe in violence and I was shocked to find Alice didn't fit in with that number. Then again she was married to the creepy Colonel.

"Because she doesn't want to, Alice." Rosalie rolled her eyes and then made a funny gesture at Alice, as if to shoo her away.

"How would you know that, _Rosalie_? Alice snapped back.

"Seeing as Leah still loves Sam she can't hurt him. And she loves Emily, too. It would kill her to hurt them even though they both really really deserve it." Rosalie sounded so condescending that it made me lips turn up into a smile, which I quickly hid.

Because they had said _those_ words. The three words that were hurtful and broken and ugly. The words that people throw around uselessly when they don't even understand what the mean. The three words that probably singlehandedly ruined Leah Clearwater's life. The words that offered a promise and future but that were all a lie.

"I don't love Sam." My voice was firm and I knew my face had took on that hard scowl it got whenever Sam was brought up.

"You do love him. You shouldn't and I don't understand why you love him but you do. I don't want you to imprint either."

"Yes. Rosalie is right. Imprinting is just eww," Alice's pixie features scrunched up in disgust. Kind of like every time Jacob or I walked into a room. "Edward tried to explain it to us. It reminded me more of torture and like holding someone hostage than love."

"Edward is nosy," I snap. Stupid mind reading leech. "But he's right. Imprinting and drugs are alike. They both ruin lives."

"Or it turns once nice, pretty girls, who used to have hopes and dreams, into bitter bitches," Rose says slyly.

I laughed. A real laugh not an 'I'm a cynical bitch' laugh. A laugh that touched my soul and made the coldness of it feel a hint of warmth. It shocked me and made me take a deep breath to off set the tides of shock.

"See, Alice." Rosalie playfully pushed his sister of sorts. "She can smile. And I bet she can learn to be happy again too. Leah is definitely, one hundred percent fixable."

They bantered on about that for a few minutes while I watched them with a goofy smile plastered on my face. But I had more questions than they'd given me answers. I had all night and they had eternity. It was time to start answering.

"So, why are we really here?"

They both froze. If the Cullen's were good at anything it was freezing. Along with popping up random places at unwanted times. I began tapping my foot to let them know that the temper mental wolf girl was getting impatient.

"You might be angry," Alice starts. "This would be so much easier if I could just see you damned wolves."

I did not know Alice Cullen, or Alice Hale, or whatever the hell we were calling her these days, cussed.

"I'm going to be angry if you keep wasting my time," I pressed.

"We don't like seeing you lonely and we want to help."

I held my hands up. Alice needed to stop right there.

"Whoa, whoa. Listen here, psychic, I appreciate all this fussing over me, but anyone you know is probably of the vampire persuasion. Mortal enemies and all. It just wouldn't work."

They both laughed again. It was getting annoying and I felt like I was missing something.

"Leah, we are NOT Edward and Bella. We abide by the 'stick to your own species' rule. We're not trying to make Ligers here."

So, it was a wolf. Or maybe a human. But it would have to be someone we all knew then. Had they been planning this with Jacob all along? I mean, was he paying them for this? Kid was dead. Sure, I'd have to go crawling back to Sam, but I'm a big girl and I'd be okay.

"I am NOT dating Embry Call. Listen, Leah Call. It just doesn't sound right." I was flustered and angry. My entire body was shaking like a tuning fork and all those damned leeches could do was laugh.

"How does Leah Black sound?"

And then all I saw was red.


	4. Worth Following

**A/N: Thank you soo much to everyone who has read and reviewed this story! I appreciate it! And it's the weekend and other than a riding lesson tomorrow I've got ample free time so yay for numerous updates!**

I managed to get away from the nice, shiny, expensive Porsche before I exploded into a giant wolf. That was a good thing since I would never be able to afford to pay for the damages. The home telephone I could replace, and even the kitchen table at Sam and Emily's but a car that cost thousands of dollars was really out of my price range.

Rosalie and Alice wouldn't be mad I ran off. I was pretty sure anyway. I was shocked and I had phased out of my clothes. And I wasn't mad at them easier. They'd been far nicer than I deserved. Really they were only trying to help me. No one else did that so I was thankful.

Although I did think they were crazy. I mean, Jacob and I? We hate each other. I know love and hate both passionate emotions but they're on a whole different level. Yes, I had joined Jake's pack. But not because I liked him or thought his cause was noble. I needed to watch out for Seth and escape from Sam the Tyrant. It had nothing at all to do with Jake.

Then again he did try really hard to be nice to me and we were in the same boat..

_Get a grip, freak,_ I told myself shaking my head. There was no way I was letting anything those leech girls said get into my head. No way at all.

My paws pounded into the ground as I made my way back to Munster House. It was still early and I had to be careful not to run too close to the main road. As if either packs needed hunters out after giant bear slash wolf monsters. That would just make our lives more difficult then they already were.

I was alone in my thoughts so that probably meant Seth and Jake were still chilling in Casa de Leech. Maybe they'd stay gone a while so I could sort through my thoughts without them butting in with their brainlessness. Certainly I'd been presented with A LOT to think about.

_Leah Black.___ It did have a nice ring to it.

_WHOA! Leah, daydreaming about Jacob?!_ Seth's hip-hop happy voice popped into my head.

_Black? Are you planning on stealing my sister from Paul and marrying her, Leah?_

Just great. Jacob were here too. How did they even know I was back? And what even made them think I needed their company?

_Edward told us. _ That was Seth.

_Edward should mind his own business,_ I snapped.

_And you shouldn't change the subject? What's with the Black? _Jacob all but Alpha commanded me to answer him.

So I showed them my afternoon with the girls. It was embarrassing. It would have been even more embarrassing if I wasn't used to other people seeing me pig out. Oreos were my favorite.

_Are they crazy?! _Jacob growled, while Seth howled with laughter like a middle school boy.

Considering I was so menopausal I'd almost forgotten what a sudden mood swing could be like. But as Jacob got all defense I felt one spring up.

_Yes, Jacob, they are crazy,_ My thoughts were so full of anger and hurt they both stopped completely. I was picking up nothing from their sorry excuses for brains. _ I mean you would HAVE to be crazy to think happily ever after existed for me. Or even just happiness. You know, I had almost forgotten that no one wanted me around. Thank you, Jacob._

_For what?_ He questioned me stupidly.

_Ruining that for me. _ With that I bolted into the trees and got as far away as fast as I could. I tried to block out Seth and Jacob arguing while singing show tunes and reciting all fifty states. It didn't work very well so as soon as I reached the river I phased back into my human body and pulled on the last of my clothes.

Following the banks I headed for the cliffs. They were sort of like my refuge. I'd climb up there just to watch the water and think. Sitting on the ledge I watched the smooth as glass water ripple slightly as I knocked a pebble into it.

I bit my lip; hard. But that didn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. Jacob reacting that way shouldn't have bothered me. I even expected it from him. It was normal Jacob like things to say. And on any normal occasion I would have snapped back with some smart ass response.

My reaction could have been blamed on PMS but there is that bit about Mother Nature hating me.

"Leah," a voice said solemnly from behind me. "Are you okay?"

"Go away, Jacob," I said while standing up. I blamed to walk by him and head back to the Cullen's house and apologize to Seth. But Jacob the monster who doesn't respect personal space was blocking my path. "I'm fine. Really."

"You're not okay," his stupid husky voice answered.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you're crying," One of his warm hands reached up to wipe the tears from my cheeks. The contact burned.

"I cry a lot," I whispered.

"I know that," he said bringing his hand down away from my face. "I hope that they're not my fault ever again."

He looked so apologetic. It was sweet. Every word he said was making the broken pieces of my heart shift around.

"It's okay. I mean I only ever cry over Sam and being away from him is helping that problem. I'm just moody," I scrunched my face up.

"I thought that..you..didn't umm..that anymore," he stumbled over his words.

"Oh! Not that. Just moody," I laughed.

"Leah, you laughed and it was not a mean laugh!" Jacob teased me, grinning wildly.

"Well, I have been known to laugh before."

"Sure, sure. Years ago maybe."

"Jacob, why are you here?"

The smile fell from his face.

"To tell you you're wrong and to give you an Alpha command." He looked smug.

"I hate Alpha orders," I mumbled. I was too curious to get mad. He seemed like this wasn't his usual 'don't call names' or 'be nice' type of command.

"Whoa there Speed Racer. You don't know the command so don't say you hate it. It's a good order" he promised.

"Just tell me. The sooner you give me the command the quicker I can break your face."

He chuckled and shook his head. "The order is," his voice got all stupidly serious, " The order is that you can never say no one wants you around."

"Your mom wishes you were home. Seth really does like having you here now that the shock has worn off. And, Leah, I'd miss you."

I tried shaking my head to protest but his hands came back to my face.

"Don't kid yourself, Leah" he started, " We want you happy and obviously the Cullen's do too. We..I need you. I'm so sorry I hurt your feels," he chucked again. "I didn't know it was possible."

I smiled slightly. Jacob bended down and kissed my forehead. Right at that moment something snapped. It wasn't the snapping of things falling apart but of broken pieces connecting again. It wasn't all of Leah's heart but parts of it were coming back together and the cobwebs were being dusted out of empty places.

"Seth's worried. We should go," Jacob slowly removed his hands from my face, letting his fingers trail. Before turning and walking back into the woods. Sure, I needed to see Seth but first I needed to have a girl on girl on girl talk with Rosalie and Alice. They were the only ones who could help me make sense of this Jacob mess.

I didn't want it to be a mess anymore. I needed everything to fit in right where it belonged.

"You coming, Shorty?" Jacob called behind him.

Shaking my head, I smiled, before jogging to catch up with him.

"I keep telling you Black, your worth following."


	5. Breaking Rules

I didn't get to see Rosalie and Alice, and Jacob and I didn't get to talk, either. For two whole days it was my job to run around and make sure it was okay for the leeches to leave their precious home and go hunting. Who knew where silly Sam had his boys patrolling these days. It was like Jacob was keeping me busy for a reason or I was just being paranoid. My feelings were hurt. By all of them. Alice and Rosalie didn't even try to come out and see me. Jacob acted like we never shared a nice heart to heart moment. But I was still happier than I had been in a long time. People did want me around and Sam not wanting me around was starting not to matter anymore.

Even if all of that was almost ruined by Jared showing up and calling me '_Lee-Lee_' but I didn't blame him for that. Jared wasn't saying those things. Sam was. That killed Seth and Jacob's mood. They didn't want to fight with their brothers. I on the other hand didn't care if they were wiped from the planet.

"I'm going to the Cullen house," Jacob said stepping from the woods where he had phased back into human form and pulled on a pair of cutoffs.

"You're always at the Cullen's, Jacob," I told him rolling my eyes.

Seth was still out patrolling so we were standing in the middle of the woods awkwardly staring at each other and shuffling our feet.

"Well, yeah," he said, shrugging as if to ask me where else he was supposed to be. "But, I'm telling you so you can come with me. Alice and Rosalie would like to explain why they haven't seen you for a few days."

"Oh, so they aren't mad?"

"Nope. Now come on before I leave you."

"Jacob we're walking to the house. Not driving. You couldn't leave me if you wanted to. I'm faster."

"Leah, don't be a smart ass," he chuckled.

"Smart ass is my middle name," I mumbled while doing something with my hands that was similar to spirit fingers and jazz hands combined.

He just chuckled again and stuffed his hands in his pockets while taking long strides up to the house. I wanted to knock but he just strolled right in the door like it was his home. I wanted to remind him his home wasn't with leeches and an almost dead love but that would just hurt him. I wasn't in the business of hurting people anymore. Unless it was Paul, Sam, or Emily.

"Leah!" Alice rushed down the stairs and hugged me awkwardly.

"Hey, Alice," my voice was stuffy but I was trying to sound polite.

"Jacob, I'm glad you're here," Alice said beaming at him.

"Happy to help," he said before strolling into the living room where I knew Bella was.

I'd have to ask him about that later.

"Rosalie will come out when Jacob gets in there," Alice explained to me.

I nodded and looked around the room. It was just the same as it had been a few days prior. It still smelt badly.

"Hey, Bitch!" Rosalie strolled into the room smiling brightly.

"Sup girlies?" I grinned brightly. "Sorry about the other night. I still lose it sometimes and I was out of clothes.."

Rosalie waved a hand, dismissing the whole ordeal, "It is fine. We knew there was a possibility you'd phase-"

"I'm just happy the Porsche survived," Alice said dreamily. She was obviously thinking about her love for the cute little yellow sport car.

"Me too. I'd never be able to replace it. Can't get much work with only a high school diploma," I explained to them.

"You haven't gone to college?" Alice asked, looking upset.

"Well, no."

"Why not?" Rosalie demanded. They sounded like my mother.

"I haven't been able to. I mean, what if I phased in front of all those humans? Or did a Sam and Emily and ripped someone's face off? That would be bad."

"Did you ever want to go to college?"

"Yes. That was my getaway plan. Go to college and never have to look back at my past. But Sam ruined that."

"Sam?"

"Yeah even after I phased I talked about leaving anyway. But Sam told me I couldn't. And when I tried to argue with him he ordered me to stay here."

As if I didn't have enough reason to hate the man. He goes off and tells me I have to stay in La Push and do my duty to my people until I control my phasing. It was silly. This wasn't my duty. It was the duty of the sons of La Push and I was a girl last time I checked. And I'm certain he could testify to that fact with first hand encounters.

"The men in your life are dogs. Literally," Rosalie sounded disgusted.

"What a ridiculous pun," I scoffed.

"We're sorry we haven't seen you since that day. But, Bella has been much worse, and I haven't wanted to leave her side," Rosalie explained. She turned her head to look at the room and then back at me. It was so quick that if I didn't have awesome werewolf senses I wouldn't have caught it.

"It's okay. But I really really needed to talk to you," I said, chewing on my lip.

"That's a bad habit," Alice admonished me. "You have nice lips. Don't ruin them."

She was very materialistic. Everyone always had nice clothes and never wore the same thing twice. Jacob told me that Edward said it was Alice's fault. Edward knew everyone's business.

"Don't be rude, Alice," Rosalie said. "Let's go upstairs."

The girls flew upstairs before I had a chance to protest. So I was now entering dangerous territory. I hadn't been much further into the house than the sitting room and video game room they'd set up for us.

I used my nose to follow them. It led me through a room that appeared to be Rosalie and Emmett's bedroom. It had all kinds of pictures of them through different time periods. In different wedding dresses. What a princess! Continuing through the room I ended up in what looked like an old fashioned parlor. The two girls were sitting down on a couch talking to their husbands.

"Hey bear man!" I greeted Emmett. He was really funny and I found it hard to hate him.

"Wolf Girl," he grinned. Emmett had dimples and it was creepy. Imagine a granite face with dimples.

"Hey to you too Creepy Colonel," I waved at Jasper. He freaked my out the most. All those scars and knowing how he got them.

"Leah, you're demoting me. Haven't we been over this?" He sounded exasperated and like he'd been arguing with a five year old child.

I just shrugged and looked at Alice and Rosalie hopefully.

"Emmett out. This Is girl time," Rosalie pointed to the door and blew him a kiss.

"This is stupid. It's my room too!"

"Yes, yes, honey. I know, but just go. You too Jasper."

Griping and growling under their breaths about their wives needing the whole house for their girl time Emmett and Jasper finally left. But I wanted them to come back. Now I felt all awkward and Jasper could do that cool emo thing he does.

"So…" Rosalie said.

"I like..Jacob," I muttered except it sounded like 'iwubjcayb"

"I didn't catch that," Rosalie said in an encouraging voice.

This would be so much easier if I didn't feel like I was in therapy or in some kind of sex ed class.

"I like Jacob." There I said it. Relief washed my body. Finally somebody knew my secret.

"Oh, well we knew that," Alice said. "We just don't know what we're going to do about it."

"I don't know," I sighed. It was frustrating. "It's sure to piss a lot of people off."

"Like?" Alice asked.

"Sam, elders, Bella, my mom, Billy. You name them and I'm sure they'll be pissed," I explained.

There has to be some law against shacking up with your Alpha. And if there wasn't Sam would make it up and throw it in our faces.

"We care what Sam and your silly elders think why?" Rosalie had no respect for any of them that much was clear.

"I don't. Jacob might. And then there's the fact he's hopelessly in love with Bella. But he keeps sending me these signals but maybe I'm so desperate that I don't get it." I fell back into one of the chairs and dramatically sighed while wringing my hands.

"Signals?" Alice asked while Rosalie added, "Do tell us more."

"Well, we got into a fight that afternoon. Because I went all spastic bitchy. Normally Seth would have come after me but Jacob did..and he was wiping the tears of my cheeks and told me he would miss me and then he kissed my forehead," my voice had gone all daydreamy and I didn't even recognize it. "But he might have just being nice. Being in a pack is like being a family."

They shared a look and then Rosalie patted my leg. I always felt like she was patronizing me like people did to small children.

"You need help," Rosalie started.

I looked hurt.

"The boy is like you, too. He's confused as well..I mean he's loved Bella since he was fifteen. He doesn't get this dating thing," Rosalie had an air to her voice. It was like she was getting onto me for not knowing this.

"And you're unattainable to him. Older and beautiful," Alice said.

"I'm not beautiful," I disagreed.

"If you say that again I will ruin your face so that it's not beautiful," Rosalie snapped.

Rosalie scared me. I was normally so cocky that no leech bothered me but she frightened me. Maybe it was because I knew I'd regret killing her if it ever came down to that. Friends don't kill friends. Right?

"I came here for your help," I whined.

"Calm down. We're going to help you."

"You need frilly panties!" That was obviously Alice.

"You are crazy. What do you want? Me to seduce Jacob? I think there are rules for seducing your Alpha." Rules against seducing your Alpha. Rules against sleeping with your Alpha. Rules against dreaming about seducing and sleeping with your Alpha. We were headed into dangerous territory.

"That's just you thinking we don't know for sure. It worth a shot," Rosalie told me.

They were crazier than I thought. I'd only ever been with Sam. And I'd been dating the idiot since my freshman year of high school. I didn't know how to seduce anyone. Especially someone like Jacob. I mean I caught Sam and I kept him until some wolfy thing tore him away. It was different.

I explained that to them and they waved it off. They informed me that every woman was capable of seducing a man. I asked them if they'd been prostitutes before successfully making them laugh.

"Hey, Edward told me you guys were seducing people and talking about hookers," Jacob appeared in the doorway. Without a shirt. Would it kill the kid? "He said I should come check on you guys.

I turned red and Alice and Rosalie started giggling.

"What?" He asked. Jacob was a hopeless case. Did he think I was going to seduce Edward or Creepy Colonel?

I smacked my head and focused on a spot on the carpet.


	6. Damned Teenage Boy

"You gonna tell me who you're seducing?" Jacob asked for the billionth time as we walked back to our little camping area in human form.

We had successfully kicked Jacob out of the fancy little sitting room so we could finish our lesson on Leah seducing Jacob. It was scary and it was worse than your parents giving you 'the talk'. I wished I hadn't asked for their help.

"Nope," I responded. "You gonna tell me why you and Alice are being nice and exchanging 'thank yous' and 'you're welcomes'?"

"Nope," he put extra emphasis on the 'p', making a popping noise.

"Fine then," I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Yup."

After that we lapsed into a painful silence. I wanted to say something but I didn't know what I wanted to say. I just knew that the not talking was killing me. Literally.

"C'mon Leah you're killing me," Jacob whined finally breaking the silence.

Laughing I shook my head no. "Jacob, my career as a prostitute and seducing unknowing victims isn't any of your business."

"You're going to be a prostitute?" his eyes got wide.

"Yeah, but I'm going to be one of those high class ones that only sleep with doctors and lawyers," I explain to him. He looks confused as to why they would be the only people I'd whore myself out to. "Well, I don't want to stay in some trashy motel or have a quickie in some car. I want a nice hotel room and that sort of thing.."

He laughed and shook his head, "Whatever makes you happy, Leah."

"It does make me happy."

"Now, who are you seducing?" He was getting annoying.

"It's all Alice and Rose. They're crazy," this time I let my eyes get all wide as I feigned fear. " You missed the best part of the conversation."

"Oh, what was that?"

Yay for Leah diverting Jacob's attention elsewhere.

"Alice wants to buy me frilly lingerie."

Maybe I _was_ good at this seducing people thing because Jacob took a deep breath and his eyes got all wide again.

"You need that why?" he asked slowly, after having taken a deep breath.

"Obviously it's to seduce the victims!" I exclaimed.

"Oh.."

"Apparently, if I'd worn underclothing that had more lace on it more often I wouldn't have lost Sam to the imprint."

Jake looked like he wanted to throw up at the idea of Sam, frilly panties, and me. I don't blame him. It made me pretty sick these days as well.

"Leah, have you ever heard of anything as too much information?" he sounded frustrated.

"You keep asking questions, idiot."

"Remind me that questions are bad next time I start asking them," he tells me.

"On it oh Alpha, my alpha," I salute him with a cheeky grin plastered on my face. "So since I answered your question will you answer mine?'

"No," he scoffed. "After you almost made me throw up I'm not doing anything you want."

"Was it the idea of me in frilly lingerie or the idea of what Sam and I would be up to if I were in frilly lingerie?" I asked.

"Oh god," he groaned.

"Oh I see," my face fell. There it was. That PMS feeling again.

"Aww, Leah, "Jake started getting a playful smile on his face, "I bet you'd be hot in sexy lingerie."

I blushed and turned away from him. We were in that dangerous territory again but I decided that I wanted to play a game. Life was a game and I was tired of losing it. I just had to remember everything Leah and Rosalie had told me. Be cute. Be innocent, yet be sexy. Oh, and most of all take advantage of his teenage boy hormones.

This was crazy. I felt like I was doing something terrible. Did I really want to get Jacob this way?

Hell, I was desperate and don't have a clue. Besides, this was just innocent fun. Wasn't it?

"You're blushing," his voice was throaty. And I had no clue what that meant.

"Well, we are talking about me wearing sexy lingerie," I muttered.

Bye, bye confident Leah. Sure, I could be a bitch but I was failing at sexy.

He grinned obnoxiously. "So when you wear that stuff you're not confident in it?"

"I really don't that's your business," I growled.

"Sure it is," Jacob said. "You made it my business when you started telling me you were having random one offs and wearing lingerie."

I turned even redder.

"Don't be shy," he said in that low throaty, sexy voice. "You know I think about you in lingerie and you think about me without my clothes on."

It was my turn to groan as I looked at him with a scowl on my face. "What clothes?" I asked looking at him.

"Exactly."

Jacob seemed overly pleased with himself and I was wondering where he learned all this from. Then it hit me. He did share a brain with Paul for several months. That dude was a ladies man. It made the guys, minus Sam, worship him, and it grossed me out.

"Oh my god! I'm going to have nightmares."

I was Saved by the Seth.

"Sorry, kid," Jacob apologized but it sounded like he was choking.

"This is! We're supposed to be! Business!" Seth spluttered out mini-phrases before storming off.

"Good job, Jacob," I said glaring at him.

Hey now! How is this my fault? You're the one who told me about what you liked to wear under your clothes," he protested raising his arms in defense.

"I don't know. It just is!"

"That's not fair," he said.

"Life's not fair, kid," I told him, still glaring.

"Oh, come on," he said running a hand through his hair. "I was enjoying myself Leah. I almost forgot life sucked there for a sec. Don't ruin it by getting all serious."

He was still grinning like a fool. It's not like he'd actually _seen _me in the stuff. Oh god. He was probably thinking about it. Damned teenage boys.

"Leah," Jacob said stepping closer to me. I didn't like that husky tone in his voice. It sounded needy. And I didn't like how he broke my name into two syllables.

I took a step back to counter the one he took towards me.

"Jay-cob," I did the same thing to his name while I took another step away from him. Space was good. If there was space between him I couldn't feel his body heat or almost reach out and touch him.

But, he had other ideas. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him, crushing his lips against mine. It was all lust and need mixed into one. God, it felt so good. My lips moving in synchronization with his was bliss. It was wrong too. When my brain finally regained the ability to think I broke away and started to walk off but he grabbed my arm again.

"Wait," he said. " I thought you wanted me to kiss you?"

"No, Jacob," I told him, tears brimming my eyes. "I want you. All of you. Not just the needy teenage boy who can't get over Isabella Swan. So when you grow up and figure out what is real and what is just your hormones come find me."

He looked shocked when I turned away from him. I couldn't help but feel bad. At the rate I was confusing the poor kid he'd never want to date anyone. But I was confused too. I didn't just want one night or several nights with Jacob. I wanted something real.

Besides, one night stands couldn't exist between Jacob and I. We were permanent fixtures in each others lives and we didn't need forever to be awkward.


	7. Nothing Is Perfect

**A/N: Yo yo yo guys! Jake and Leah are silly. And Emmett just makes me giggle. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!**

Jacob found me at the Cullen's house. It was funny how the one place I never wanted to be had become my safe haven. It wasn't just Rosalie and Alice feeling sorry for me this time. Emmett was being especially funny, Jasper was tinkling with my emotions, and of course there was the junk food.

I hated how I kept finding myself in this same place. With a broken heart over stupid Quileute Alpha Wolf boys. They weren't really worth the trouble.

Hiding at the Cullen's wasn't exactly the best idea. Obviously Jacob would show up there, but when he did I thought Rosalie was going to rip his face off. But that would upset Bella and everyone was doing their best not to upset the black and blue Princess. I wish for just one day someone coddled me the way everyone did Bella. That everyone sheltered me from the cold hard truth of the world instead of just shoving me out into it's harsh force.

If Edward was paying attention to my thoughts he didn't comment so I expected he was feeling sorry for me to.

"Leah, we need to talk," Jacob said seriously.

I hated how he'd become so serious over the last few months. I could remember when he was the happy go lucky kid who used to hang out with his goofball friends. Back then he had a smile that could chase away the clouds.

"Jake, unless you're telling me that you're going to commit suicide, I don't want to hear it."

"Ouch, that was unnecessarily harsh, Leah," he said lifting my legs up off the couch and sitting down. He moved his hand and let my legs fall onto his lap. I wanted to kick him in the face, but I didn't.

"What do you want? Can't I be left alone?" I whined sitting up so my back was pressed against the arm rest of the couch.

"Stop squirming around Leah. This is serious business," Jake said holding my legs so I couldn't move around. "We need to talk about yesterday."

"Do we have to?" I sounded much more like a five year old than Leah the bitch.

"Yes, we do," Jake informed me.

"Gahh…" I said scrunching my face up into an expression that depicted pain. He started talking anyway.

"I'm stupid," he said and I nodded.

"I'm rude." I nodded again.

"Leah, stop doing that," so of course I had to nod again.

Rolling his eyes he went on, "I keep screwing up. Majorly and I don't mean too, honestly."

I didn't believe him. It was lies. All of it was lies. He wasn't sorry for screwing up. Oh, no. He enjoyed screwing up when it hurt me.

So, I was being a bit childish.

"And Jasper and Rosalie yelled at me," he looked like a hurt puppy. "They really do like you."

I looked shocked. I knew they were making an effort to help me out but I didn't know they preferred me over Jacob.

"I didn't tell them to," I told him, sighing. What a softie I was turning into.

"Oh I know," he said patting my leg. "It's okay. I deserved it. I was an ass."

"Too true," I agreed.

He pouted. "I want.I want you too Leah." Jacob was never one for being subtle.

"Stupid Alpha say what?" I asked. I heard him loud and clear. But that's what I did when I was presented with uncomfortable situations. I get mean or I get funny. This time I just got stupid though.

"Smart, wonderful Alpha says he wants you too," I wished he'd stop grinning like that.

"No, you want Bella," I argued.

"Can I asked you a question?" He didn't wait for me to answer. "Have you seen Bella lately? She's happily married to a leech and carrying said leeches child. Besides, it wasn't meant to be."

"Oh and we are?" I asked skeptically.

"I don't know. I'd like to find out," his eyes were shimmering and so full of hope. I hadn't seen him that happy in a long time. It touched my heart. "It. You. We seem right. I mean, we are a lot alike. And you Leah Hope Clearwater are a trip."

"Jacob, haven't I told you not to do drug or sniff wet paint?" I asked.

"No, you told Seth that," he reminded me.

"Well, the same for you too, kid."

"You can't keep calling me kid," he says.

"Why the hell not?" I demand.

"Because if you keep calling me and your brother both kid this is going to be really awkward."

I didn't get it at first, but then he pulled me onto his lap and attacked my lips with his. I was frozen but it didn't take long for my lips to begin moving with his.

He'd convinced me that he was being serious. Jacob's kiss was so warm and even better than Sam's. I didn't realize that I needed this just as much as he did. Because before I knew it my legs were on either side of his lap and my fingers were running through his hair. While his tongue was begging for entrance into my mouth, which I gladly obliged-

That was until someone dog whistled from the door. Pulling back from the door I looked to see Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, obviously the whistler, and Jasper standing there.

"Man, Rose, we are good," Alice was saying raising a hand.

"I know," Rosalie grinned bring her hand up to smack Alice's in a high five.

While Emmett was all excited and telling Jake "Damn you move fast kid." And Jasper looked uncomfortable. But then again Creepy Colonel always looked uncomfy.

"This is embarrassing," I muttered burying my face in the crook of Jacob's neck.

"It's okay," Jake whispered kissing the top of my head. "They're just annoying and act like elementary school kids."

"Listen here infant," Rosalie started while Emmett shoved her playfully and called her a 'mood killer'.

"You're all mood killers," I mumbled into Jacob's skin.

"We just had to see how our good work was paying off," Alice said. While Rose and Emmett just nodded wildly.

"Emmett, what part did you play in this?" I remembered getting all kinds of talks from Rose and Alice but nothing from Emmett.

"I blocked the door while Jasper and Rosie yelled at Jacob," he said, proud of himself.

It was sad. These leeches were becoming more like family to me than anyone on the Rez. They could make me laugh, they could drive me crazy, and they could make me want to throw up. Just like a family should.

"Nicely done," I praised him. I readjusted myself so I was no longer straddling Jacob's lap but so that I was still sitting on his lap. My back was against the arm rest and my long legs were across the part of the couch he wasn't taking up.

They just grinned.

"Did you need something other than to ruin this moment for us?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, I mean I've been waiting a while for this and you have to come spoil it," I added in.

"Stop whining," Rosalie snapped at me. "We just came to tell you that everyone was leaving but Edward and I."

"You're going hunting?" I asked.

"Yup, we've waited as long as we can," Jasper explained. I had noticed that their eyes were getting darker by the day.

"Why aren't you going Rose?" I questioned her tilting my head.

"I'll hunt when Edward hunts," she explained.

Jake and I shared a look. At that rate Rosalie would never go hunting again.

"Mkay, this has been fun," Jake said standing up, successfully sending me falling on the floor.

"Oh shit!" Jacob exclaimed reaching to help me stand up. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," I said. It didn't hurt.

"Are you two leaving?" Alice asked.

I shrugged and looked at Jacob. "Yes we are."

So I followed him as he left the guest room I was staying in. Walking down the stairs next to him I couldn't help but notice the way he smiled. I'm sure it matched my own.

I knew that despite everything he still needed to see Bella before he left and I could be okay with that. So I went out to the porch to wait while he headed the opposite direction towards the little living room.

When he came out of the house he grabbed my hand and kissed my lips lightly before dragging me down the stairs.

"Edward told Bella," he said looking over at me.

I, on the other hand, couldn't stop staring at how nice my fingers looked locked with his.

"Is she okay?'

"She'll have to be," he said firmly.

My heart soared again. We weren't perfect and the circumstances that brought us together were far from perfect, but we were trying. And that's all that mattered.


	8. Hope and David

**A/N: This is for real short fluffy-ness, because I feel that some happy fluff is going to be needed every now and then if we are to survive this. Thank you and goodnight! As the weekend is over don't expect such quick updates! So sorry!**

Days were beginning to feel like weeks because they lasted so long. I guess that tends to happen when you're waiting for something. We all knew that Bella was due within three to four days according to Dr. Sparkles' calculations. And Bella and her mutant spawn was the whole reason we were out here in the first place. The reason we'd forsaken our home, family, and pack. Well, the reason Seth and Jacob had. I was more selfish. But it was something Jacob was dedicated to and I would stand behind him.

"Jake?" We'd been sitting on the Cullen's porch one night and a scary, scary thought had begun to eat away at me.

He was sitting on the top most step and I was on the one right below it, leaning against his legs.

"Yeah?" He responded while playing with my short hair.

"If-if things go badly with Bella," I tilted my head back to look at him nervously, "If things go bad are you going to leave?"

I _had _to know what was going to happen. We had talked before about not wasting each others time with games and we agreed that that wasn't something either of us planned on. But I didn't know what would happen if Bella died.

"Leah, I-"Jacob stopped talking and moved his hands from my hair.

So that's how it would be. I mean I expected it but it still hurt. I sighed and scooted forward away from his legs, but he just pulled me back.

"I didn't say I was leaving," he mutters. "I won't be any fun to be around. You need to know that."

"I'm never fun to be around," I remind him,

"That's not true." He twists a strand of air around his finger. "You're fun now. It just took time."

"True. So you'll be fun to be around, eventually," I explain to him. "Jake, we're not getting any older. I can be patient. I'll help you get over this no matter how long it takes."

"There's nothing to get over. I'll just be sad. I can live without her as just my friend, but I can't imagine her dead," he whispers softly. "Can you imagine Sam dead?"

"I do it all the time," I said coldly. But then I add, "I hurt myself when I do it though."

"I guess that is how I'll be. You deserve better than that."

"Listen here, you," I said firmly, "You and me, we don't get perfect. And I don't want this to be perfect. Imprinting is love that is easy and decided for you and it's perfect. I don't want that. I want to fight for this because that means it was worth it. I'm willing to fight for you and with you. Whatever it takes."

I leaned further back into his legs, getting as close to him as possible. It felt so good when I was with Jacob. The pain was still there and my heart was still in pieces, but the pieces were bigger now. I was healing and that was because of him. I wanted, no, I needed to do the same thing for him. And it felt even better when Jake leaned down to press his lips against mine. It was quick and chaste, but we _were _on the Cullen's front porch.

"You know, I think I love you," he whispers with his face only centimeters away from mine.

I thought we had agreed not to go there. That no matter what, no matter whether we felt it or not we wouldn't say _those_ words. Those words were ugly and hurtful and had nearly ruined our lives. But here Jacob was throwing the words around. Instead of getting angry or letting myself overreact I told him the truth.

"I think I love you too, Jake."

With those I signed the death warrant to my heart. In those words Jacob held everything. The ability to make me or break me, and all I had going for me was faith that this was real.

He kissed me again, smiling against my lips. The next thing I knew we were off the porch and standing in the grass. Jacob had locked his lips with mine and then he was lifting me up. I was so into the kiss that without thinking I wrapped my legs around his waist and leaned into the kiss. Jacob broke away before I was ready to. He was breathing heavily but he leaned his forehead against mine, staring into my eyes.

"I" he kissed my lips "love" kiss "you" another kiss "Leah" a deeper kiss "Hope" and then a last kiss. Five kisses, that even though they were short and sweet, could send into a fit of giggles.

I could tell that first the sound scared Jacob. It was like he didn't know whether I was going into hysterics or was genuinely happy. "And I love you Jacob David."

He was spinning me around and we were both laughing. I didn't care that maybe Seth was somewhere grossed out or that Edward was being nosy. All that mattered was that I was happy and Jacob was too. Neither of us had to worry about a thing because we had each other.

**A/N: You all know happiness doesn't last forever, correct?**


	9. Authors Note

**A/N: Urgh, I'm sorry guys. This next chapter is hard to write because I really really don't want to but I know I need to. I am working on it and I'm having some help, but I can't guarantee when it'll be up. So patience please! Also, there are two chapters left, 9 and 10, but never fear there WILL be a sequel. A sort of time lapse is needed and I'm not creative or patient enough to write that many pointless updates, plus it would bore you lovely readers to death.**

**So have no fear. Don't give up on me. And I will have an update ready for you as soon as I can.**

**P.S I have NO clue what Jacob's middle name is. I've toyed with a few and I like David and Ephriam best. They're very traditional strong names. Has anyone noticed all the biblical names for the kiddos in the pack or on the Rez? Rachel, Leah, Rebecca, Sam, Paul, Jacob, Seth, Sue(whether its Susanna or Susan they both mean Lily in Hebrew so if just one of those is in the Bible is counts. But I think both might be) Just a fun fact! As for Leah's middle name, Hope, it just fits. Have any of you seen Jon and Kate Plus 8? All three girls, Hannah Joy, Leah Hope, and Alexis Faith..Leah Hope just works and Leah needs some hope in her life. So yay for that show and TLC!**

**Thank you and goodnight!**


	10. Fall to Pieces

_**When I said Jacob and I had nothing to worry about as long as we had each other I was wrong. I was sadly, sadly mistaken because as a female werewolf nothing in my life could ever go right. It just wasn't possible. I mean Sam couldn't love me so I should have seen Jacobs' imprinting coming. I was stupid, stupid and in denial.**_

_**And on top of all of that the person he imprinted on was a baby and not just any baby it was the demon leech child. Renesmee Carlie Cullen.**_

"Seth, what do you think is taking Jacob so long?" I was impatient and stomping around. Jacob had been up at Dracula's Mansion for over two hours even though he said he'd be back as soon as possible. He just needed a quick trip to check on Bella and then we'd spend the whole day together. I'd been giddy for hours since he told me that but now I was just pissed.

"Chill out Sis," Seth sighed. "He'll be back soon. Bella is worse off than before."

Well, duh, her demon spawn was due to chew it's way out of her uterus any minute now.

"Well," I huffed. I was too upset to think of anything to say.

"C'mon Leah," Seth started talking again. The kid was on my nerves. "Don't get all depressed you've acted happy for three days now! That's like a record!"

Seth seemed so happy at the idea of my being happy that I felt guilty for getting all gloom and doom again. So I forced a smile and looked at him, "I've been happy. Jake makes me happy."

Seth laughed. "I know that. Why do you think I haven't ripped his head off for making out with my sister?!"

I knew he was joking but still. I needed to say something to him.

"You do realize that I'm the older sibling, correct?" I asked him.

"I act older," Seth snorted, playfully shoving my shoulder.

"Do not."

"I do too."

"Do not."

"Admit it, Leah. Your baby brother acts like..a man."

"Ewww," I squealed. "You are NOT a man. You're like twelve!"

"I'm fifteen," Seth's voice had never sounded so grown up as It did right then.

"Oh, excuse me, fifteen is _so _much older than twelve." I couldn't help but laugh at how silly he was being.

"Let's go," Seth stood up.

"Where are we going might I ask?" I stood up too. Since my boyfriend had forgotten me I decided it would be okay to sink even lower and hank out with my kid brother. 'Sides Seth wasn't that bad.

"To go get Jake. He promised you he'd spend the day with you and he's going to keep his promise."

I'd almost forgotten how Seth tried to take care of me. I didn't give the kid enough credit. He was the only one who ever stood up for me when we were with Sam. And I guess now he was determined not to let Jake do the same thing to me. I was lucky to have the worlds best little brother. I'd have to tell him that later.

We walked in silence to the Cullen's house. I knew that mom and pop Cullen were off hunting which probably meant Rosalie and Edward were the only ones home with the Princess. Things at the Cullen house had become very, very stressful. It didn't surprise me that Creepy Colonel didn't want to be there. He had his emo super power and it was probably driving him crazy. Plus, Rosalie, god love her, had become just as bad as Edward.

Coming out of the woods we looked at the house were it was silent. Birds and little squirrels rarely made an appearance around the house, even though It was surrounded by woods, but I can't say that I don't blame them. Seth knocked on the door but no one answered. That was odd. He knocked again and finally Rosalie yelled for us to come inside.

But instead of waiting for us she was at the door opening it for us. She ushered us in quickly and slammed the door. I was about to tell her off for being so rude but then my ears heard a strange noise. It was an unusual beating. Well two unusual beatings.

"Rosalie, what is that?" I demanded.

"Well, err, Leah," she seemed nervous and unable to get her words. That was so not Ms. Confident Rosalie. "Bella had the baby and Edward had to change her in order to save her. Jake gave his permission."

Of course Jake would. That explained the heartbeat that seemed to be changing into something else but what about the one beating unusually fast?

"And the other?" Seth pressed before I could ask.

"The baby."

"Where is Jacob?"

I was angry. I knew his plan for the baby. He would kill it and then fight whichever Cullen's he had too. Yet, that was only if Bella died in the process. He didn't think much about his plan if Bella were to live. That didn't seem like the likely outcome for this wretched situation. Obviously Rosalie was at the door waiting for us. So she was still alive. Somehow. But, I mean would Rosalie let us in if she'd killed Jacob for trying to get the demon spawn? I didn't think so.

"Is Jacob okay?" I asked again. I decided to use my nose. I could smell him but I didn't know where exactly he was in the house or if he was okay.

Rosalie placed a hand on my shoulder as if to calm me down. But I wasn't having any of it. I shook her off but she grabbed me again.

"You need to listen to me before you go in there," she said coldly. That shocked me too. Something freaky was going on around this place. "Under no circumstances are you to harm Renesmee. Do you understand? No matter what."

I wanted to ask what the hell a Renesmee was and where Bella came up with that goddamned name but I was too worried about Jacob. So I just nodded dumbly.

"Well, okay then. Go into the sitting room." She pointed the way for me to head but held up an arm to hold Seth behind.

Rosalie was frantically whispering something to him but I couldn't make out just what it was she was saying. It didn't matter really. I trusted Seth with the leeches. So I kept walking down the hallway until I reached the room. I tried to put on a smile but it was hard since I was going to see exactly why my boyfriend was baby sitting demon spawn.

"Hey, Jakey," I started but stopped. I knew then why he was with her.

Because he wasn't _my_ boyfriend anymore. He was _hers_. Jacob had that same sick look on his face that I got to watch Paul, Jared, Sam and Quil sport around every day.

"Leah," he said, but he didn't put the baby down; he didn't move an inch. I held up my hand and took a deep breath.

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed. I almost didn't believe it was me. "God, you are so much worse than Sam. I hope you know that! You didn't even-She's a-"

Rosalie had come into the room from the other entrance was taking the thing away from Jacob as he stood up and walked towards me, holding out a hand.

I took a step back. "Jacob Black stay the hell away from me! Don't come near me ever again! Got it?"

I didn't give him time to answer as I stormed out of the house. I was shaking so badly I almost didn't notice the tears streaming down my face or hear Seth call out my name. I just ignored it and kept walking. But I did hear Seth yelling at Jacob to leave me alone. And that made me feel better.

I didn't phase right then. I tried so hard not to. For once I won against the wolf. I just curled up next to a tree and wept. Actually it was more like I was sobbing uncontrollably.

I wasn't sure what I did to deserve this but obviously the Gods had found some reason to disfavor me. Because I'd just lost my best friend and the person I loved more than anything.

**A/N: I just broke my own heart and that pretty much sucks. For every author out there who has had trouble writing a dramatic scene, I feel your pain. Review and Rant. I can handle it.**


	11. What Hurts the Most

**A/N: Whoa, whoa, whoa guys. It's not polite to tell people you hate them, now is it? Sheesh. What kind of monster do you think I am? Leaving Leah like this? Don't get your panties all up in a bunch; calm down and enjoy the ride. It's bound to be fun. I promise. So this is the last chapter before I start the Sequel. I could make you guys wait like a week or so until I put it up but I doubt I'll be able to go without writing for that long. I want to know what happens too! So, here we are. **

Since Jacob had imprinted on the little leech monster the rules of the treaty were stronger than ever. Jacob was attached to the leeches which mean our tribe and both of the packs were attached to them. That just killed me more.

I went back home and let my mother see that I was alright, sort of, and I let her try all the motherly things to make things better but it didn't work. Nothing could make this better. Although everyone would try to make it better.

No one could console me or calm me down. I knew that Rosalie and Alice had been allowed on the Rez to see me because everyone hoped they could talk some sense into me but I wouldn't let them. I just shut down. _Again_. I don't know how much heartache one person can be expected to handle but I knew that this was just ridiculous.

I was over Sam. Jacob did that. He helped me so much and I wanted to help him too. But now he had her and I didn't know who would help me get over _him_. I sat in bed for days and days and days and cried harder than I ever had. It scared mom. It scared Seth. It scared Sam and Emily. Even Billy and Old Quil were worried. They'd always called me a wolverine more than a wolf. No one thought I would ever fall to pieces over someone in a way worse than when Sam left me. But with Jake it was on a whole different level. I wasn't the only one mad at Jake though. People forgot that you can't help imprinting and they blamed him.

Sam got all Alpha Male and claimed he wasn't a fit Alpha. The Council, who always plays by the book, knew Jacob was the Alpha by blood and right, but they couldn't help but question his rank. All of this I had to endure. Questions about Jake and who's pack I would belong to.

I don't think they understood. I just wanted to be left alone. I'd stay in Jacob's pack. There was no need for me to keep flip flopping around. Sam and then Jake. Sam and then Jake. Sam and then Jake. That would just make me seem like a whore. A whore who couldn't get over her _two_ ex's vs. just the one from that time before.

Life sucked. And I didn't see a way out. How could I leave mom and Seth? How could I keep going on though? I couldn't get away and leave La Push. Neither Sam nor Jake would let me. With my temper I wasn't save.

So here I was in there minds: the pathetic ex, the bitch, the harpy, and the risk to society.

Ok, I didn't know that they were thinking about that for sure but it seemed to be the way things were.

"Leah!" Seth hollered at my door. Yelling and screaming was about the only way they were able to get my attention. "Jake is here! He says he's not leaving until you come out."

I groaned and then got angry at Seth. "He is leaving!"

It was quiet for a second before Seth responded stupidly, "He says he's not."

"Well, I've got an idea, you're a werewolf and you claim to be a man, kick him out of the damn house!"

See? Simple solution to that problem.

I figured that without Jacob around I would get to redo the whole 'out of sight out of mind' thing I started with Sam when I left his retarded pack. But Jacob was so goddamned persistent.

He kicked my door in.

"You're paying for that," I mumbled from under the covers as I felt the mattress sink down as he sat on it. "You should have to pay for my heart, too, but I don't think you have the money to afford it."

"I could always ask the Cullen's to let me borrow some," he suggested.

"GET OUT!" I screamed.

I felt him scoot closer to the other end of the bed. I don't think he expected me to feel quite so hostile towards the Cullen's due to the situation. Sure, I was friends with Rosalie and Alice, and well most of them before, but things had changed. And I'd changed. I'd gone back to the being the bitter bitch of La Push.

Wicked Witch of the West has got nothing on me.

"Leah, don't be like that," he pleaded pulling at the blanket so he could see my face.

"Don't be like what?" I snapped back, reaching an arm from under the covers to slap his hand away.

"I want to talk to you," his voice sounded all whiney, "it's important."

"No."

"Please?"

"Nope, go back and play with your FAMC," I told him as I turned over to push my face into the pillow.

"My what?" he asked.

"FAMC. Freaky. Ass. Monster. Child." I said the name slowly so that his unbelievably small brain could comprehend it.

"Don't call her that," he growled and I could feel him vibrating with anger.

It only made me laugh. "Exactly my point, Jacob. Now leave."

"You don't mean that." I guess he might have noticed how my voice broke every time I told him to get out or leave. I didn't really mean it and he knew it, but he also knew that even though I didn't mean it, it's what I needed to happen. I needed him to leave and not look back.

Because if he looked back that would mean he was remembering that he once cared about me and that would just hurt the most.

"Yes I do." It hurt. It hurt so bad to have to tell him that but at that moment I did want him to leave but I knew that when he listened to me I'd just want him to come right back.

He didn't say a word. He just left. I heard the door shut and I counted his footsteps as he walked down the hall. I listened to the mumbled whispers of him talking to my mother and arguing with my brother. I pulled the pillow over my head and held it there. I just needed..I don't know what I needed. I needed him to fall off the face of the earth and at the same time I just wanted to talk to him.

God, I had so much to say to him. Things I wanted to say, things I should say, things I didn't want to say, and things that I shouldn't say. It was a mess. My whole life seemed to be just one big mess. A mess of heartbreak and hurt.

For a brief minute things were easy. I was getting along with my brother and I was able to love someone again. It wasn't fair to have things snatched away like that.

Someone opened the door again and I prepared to yell at Jake about how "leave" really does mean leave. I sat up and flung the comforter back, a scowl present on my face. But it was just Seth.

So I broke down. And he hugged me and patted my hair and told me that things would be okay. That I'd just have to wait and see. I wanted to believe Seth so bad. He was my little brother but he was so much more grounded than me.

He dealt with my grief and my mother's grief after dad died and he was dealing with my grief as I was dying. Seth let me sob and didn't try to stop me. He listened to my mumbled choked up words about how much I wanted Jacob back. How much I wanted things to be the way they were just five days ago.

Seth didn't lie to me to make me feel better and he didn't tell me the truth to make me feel worse but I knew. Even when I cried over Jake and begged, out loud much to Seth's horror, for Jacob to come back that he was gone and he wasn't coming back.

Because _my_ Jacob died that day and I'd have to deal with I because there was no escape.

I was a wolf and so was he. We'd have to be around each other and be able to act serious.

I wasn't a son of La Push and Taha Aki, but I was a daughter and I carried the same burden. And I'd have to accept that and do my best to be a good wolf and a good daughter.

"Leah," Seth whispered, interrupting my thoughts , "Are you gonna be okay?"

I didn't know whether to answer him at first or not. I knew my throat would burn when I tried to talk and I'd sound awful from all the crying but the kid deserved the truth. "I think I just might learn to be okay.

I'd have to do all of that and learn how to be okay, but I'd also have to figure out just who Leah Clearwater really was.


End file.
